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Remove Your Limiting Beliefs & Unlock Your Natural Abilities

14 things I’ve learned about How to Reinvent Yourself

1. You can.

2. You should reinvent yourself when a new passion overtakes your heart and imagination.

3. You must focus on WHAT COULD GO RIGHT, and not on what could go wrong, OR you’ll never reinvent yourself.

4. Don’t focus on how much money you’ll make. Focus on what you need to do to become excellent… The ways to make money will become clear. There are always ways to monetize what you’re passionately committed to.

5. NEVER listen to those who don’t believe in you reinventing yourself. They are stuck seeing the current you. They lack the internal vision you have. And they are afraid of reinventing themselves.

6. WILDLY IMPORTANT: To BE a NEW you, you first have to be able to SEE a NEW you. You must spend time visualizing the new you. It’s not easy, but you can learn to do it.

7. Surround yourself with whoever is in your corner cheering you on. You need supporters and believers.

8. Get a COACH or MENTOR! Don’t go it alone! Don’t. It will kill your dream.

9. Be prepared for failure. Reinvention comes with mistakes. No big deal. Everyone you look up to failed their way there. You can learn to be resilient.

10. Work on your reinvention every day, five days a week. (Yes, take two days off – you need the balance). But work on it with tremendous consistency. This creates the all-magical momentum! Momentum is everything.

11. Keep growing and keep going. Right through the hardships, the walls, the stuck points, the dismal days, the challenging weeks. You’ll breakthrough. It’s inevitable.

12. Be the most patient and faithful and optimistic person in every room, always.

13. Often visualize your reinvention FULLY GLORIOUSLY realized in a way that makes you FEEL the exciting and wonderful things you’ll feel when you accomplish your reinvention. The Universe co-creates with you by turning your feelings into your realities.

14. LOVE IT ALL. Do your utmost to embrace every part of your reinvention, the good days, the bad days, the hard days – it’s the journey. Love the journey like you’re writing a great inspirational story full of ups and downs, thrills and chills – because you are writing a great story when you dare to reinvent yourself. You’re writing the next great chapter of your life. If you desire to reinvent yourself and write the next great chapter of your life, and you would like me as your mentor, I encourage you to contact me at CoachDeanKloter.com today.

On the other side of ego lies the Truth. When the ego succumbs and dies, a new being is born, resurrected from the ashes, all by the Grace of God.

It is an individual experience, one that only you can have and own. Each person’s experience is different, but the end result is the same.

No one can ‘do’ this for you because no one has had the same experiences as you. You must recognize the need, have a burning desire to go the distance, take the first step, and keep going. Focus!!!

Once a person understands the reason why something is the way it is or isn’t, they gain great clarity! That clarity gives you Focus on what you want and what you don’t want.

As human beings we are designed to operate at the pinnacle of greatness, but we’ve been conditioned to operate from mediocrity. This is why we feel that something is just not quite right with our lives. Deep down inherently we ‘know’ that we are supposed to be performing, achieving; that we should be doing something different, something more than what we are currently doing.

How often we feel that we should be operating at a much higher level, and it doesn’t feel right, but we just don’t know what to do or what it is we want to move forward with. If you look at causation, you can see that we’ve been conditioned to operate in a world of mediocrity – a blasé environment.

Why is that? The environment of our society, our education system, business and social structures and cultures have been, perhaps even unintentionally, designed to hold us back into mediocrity.

1) Most people have no idea what a picture of greatness looks like. We need some kind of reference as to what greatness looks like, say in human form and what the possibilities are for another to achieve that same greatness.

2) Creating greatness is an individual preference but collaboration with those that have experienced it is the key to the exponential growth of human achievement going forward. Individual preference is tantamount – because each of us needs to be our own person and not an imitation of someone else. Collaboration based on encouraging an individual to reach their potential within the individual’s current conscious abilities, i.e. what’s possible for them in this moment and grow from there.

3) Develop a PATH

4) Develop confidence for sustainable action

5) Course correction w/mentors

6) Teach it to others

The benefits of collaboration are many, but the most effective is that each person has a piece of the puzzle that the other does not have so as collaboration evolves, the puzzle comes together into the bigger picture that all may see. Putting all the pieces together leads to fulfillment for all.

So many people today are living unfulfilled lives! Collaboration provides the leverage we need to grow.

7) “Reprogram” who you are to who you want to become. Reprogramming your beliefs from the understanding of: A love for mankind, a desire to add value and a strong belief in the betterment of one another.

Now that you know who you are, where do you want to go and how are you going to get there?

Commitment, desire, stick with it without ever giving up!

CREATE YOUR PATH –

What’s the best way to learn something?
Learning is voluntary. We learn what we want to learn, what interests us.

How do you want to be remembered?

Be the man or woman that added value and increase to everyone he or she met or knew… Because I was in your life, you benefited from it.
By listening, believing in, acknowledging them that their life is relevant, comforting, supporting, teaching, and helping others to succeed…

Best!
Dean

By Seth Godin, an American author and former dot com business executive.

At the top tier of just about any sort of endeavor, you’ll find that the performers have coaches.

Pianists, orators and athletes all have coaches. In fact, it would be weird if we heard of someone on stage or on the field who didn’t have one.

And yet, in the world of business, they’re seen as the exception.

Part of the reason is that work feels like an extension of something we’ve been doing our whole lives. Figure skating isn’t like school, but showing up at work seems to be. “I’ve got this,” is a badge of honor.

And part of the reason is that a few coaches have made claims that stretch belief, and we’re not actually sure what they do. It doesn’t help that there’s no easy way to identify what sort of coach we need or what we’re going to get…

It turns out that the people with the potential to benefit the most from a coach are often the most hesitant precisely because of what coaching involves.

Talking about our challenges. Setting goals. Acknowledging that we can get better. Eagerly seeking responsibility…

And yet we avert our eyes and hesitate. It might be because having a coach might be interpreted as a sign of weakness. And what if we acknowledge our challenges but fail to overcome them? It could be that we don’t want to cause change to happen, or that we’re worried that we will.

One company I admire believes in coaches so much that they’ve put several on staff, ensuring that their leadership all benefit from one. But mostly, it’s something we have to pay for ourselves.

And so, paying for a coach, for something that’s hard to measure, which might be socially awkward, to get better at something that feels normal—combine that with a hesitancy to ask for help—it’s a wonder anyone has a coach.

The paradox is that the very things that hold us back are the reasons we need a coach in the first place.

There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing

The neglected middle child of mental health can dull your motivation and focus — and it may be the dominant emotion of 2021.

Manshen Lo

By Adam Grant

April 19, 2021

At first, I didn’t recognize the symptoms that we all had in common. Friends mentioned that they were having trouble concentrating. Colleagues reported that even with vaccines on the horizon, they weren’t excited about 2021. A family member was staying up late to watch “National Treasure” again even though she knows the movie by heart. And instead of bouncing out of bed at 6 a.m., I was lying there until 7, playing Words with Friends.

It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.

As scientists and physicians work to treat and cure the physical symptoms of long-haul Covid, many people are struggling with the emotional long-haul of the pandemic. It hit some of us unprepared as the intense fear and grief of last year faded.

In the early, uncertain days of the pandemic, it’s likely that your brain’s threat detection system — called the amygdala — was on high alert for fight-or-flight. As you learned that masks helped protect us — but package-scrubbing didn’t — you probably developed routines that eased your sense of dread. But the pandemic has dragged on, and the acute state of anguish has given way to a chronic condition of languish.

In psychology, we think about mental health on a spectrum from depression to flourishing. Flourishing is the peak of well-being: You have a strong sense of meaning, mastery and mattering to others. Depression is the valley of ill-being: You feel despondent, drained and worthless.

Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.

The term was coined by a sociologist named Corey Keyes, who was struck that many people who weren’t depressed also weren’t thriving. His research suggests that the people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade aren’t the ones with those symptoms today. They’re the people who are languishing right now. And new evidence from pandemic health care workers in Italy shows that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference. When you can’t see your own suffering, you don’t seek help or even do much to help yourself.

Even if you’re not languishing, you probably know people who are. Understanding it better can help you help them.

A name for what you’re feeling

Psychologists find that one of the best strategies for managing emotions is to name them. Last spring, during the acute anguish of the pandemic, the most viral post in the history of Harvard Business Review was an article describing our collective discomfort as grief. Along with the loss of loved ones, we were mourning the loss of normalcy. “Grief.” It gave us a familiar vocabulary to understand what had felt like an unfamiliar experience. Although we hadn’t faced a pandemic before, most of us had faced loss. It helped us crystallize lessons from our own past resilience — and gain confidence in our ability to face present adversity.

We still have a lot to learn about what causes languishing and how to cure it, but naming it might be a first step. It could help to defog our vision, giving us a clearer window into what had been a blurry experience. It could remind us that we aren’t alone: languishing is common and shared.

And it could give us a socially acceptable response to “How are you?”

Instead of saying “Great!” or “Fine,” imagine if we answered, “Honestly, I’m languishing.” It would be a refreshing foil for toxic positivity — that quintessentially American pressure to be upbeat at all times.

When you add languishing to your lexicon, you start to notice it all around you. It shows up when you feel let down by your short afternoon walk. It’s in your kids’ voices when you ask how online school went. It’s in “The Simpsons” every time a character says, “Meh.”

Last summer, the journalist Daphne K. Lee tweeted about a Chinese expression that translates to “revenge bedtime procrastination.” She described it as staying up late at night to reclaim the freedom we’ve missed during the day. I’ve started to wonder if it’s not so much retaliation against a loss of control as an act of quiet defiance against languishing. It’s a search for bliss in a bleak day, connection in a lonely week, or purpose in a perpetual pandemic.

An antidote to languishing

So what can we do about it? A concept called “flow” may be an antidote to languishing. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away. During the early days of the pandemic, the best predictor of well-being wasn’t optimism or mindfulness — it was flow. People who became more immersed in their projects managed to avoid languishing and maintained their pre-pandemic happiness.

An early-morning word game catapults me into flow. A late-night Netflix binge sometimes does the trick too — it transports you into a story where you feel attached to the characters and concerned for their welfare.

While finding new challenges, enjoyable experiences and meaningful work are all possible remedies to languishing, it’s hard to find flow when you can’t focus. This was a problem long before the pandemic, when people were habitually checking email 74 times a day and switching tasks every 10 minutes. In the past year, many of us also have been struggling with interruptions from kids around the house, colleagues around the world, and bosses around the clock. Meh.

Fragmented attention is an enemy of engagement and excellence. In a group of 100 people, only two or three will even be capable of driving and memorizing information at the same time without their performance suffering on one or both tasks. Computers may be made for parallel processing, but humans are better off serial processing.

Give yourself some uninterrupted time

That means we need to set boundaries. Years ago, a Fortune 500 software company in India tested a simple policy: no interruptions Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. When engineers managed the boundary themselves, 47 percent had above-average productivity. But when the company set quiet time as official policy, 65 percent achieved above-average productivity. Getting more done wasn’t just good for performance at work: We now know that the most important factor in daily joy and motivation is a sense of progress.

I don’t think there’s anything magical about Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. The lesson of this simple idea is to treat uninterrupted blocks of time as treasures to guard. It clears out constant distractions and gives us the freedom to focus. We can find solace in experiences that capture our full attention.

Focus on a small goal

The pandemic was a big loss. To transcend languishing, try starting with small wins, like the tiny triumph of figuring out a whodunit or the rush of playing a seven-letter word. One of the clearest paths to flow is a just-manageable difficulty: a challenge that stretches your skills and heightens your resolve. That means carving out daily time to focus on a challenge that matters to you — an interesting project, a worthwhile goal, a meaningful conversation. Sometimes it’s a small step toward rediscovering some of the energy and enthusiasm that you’ve missed during all these months.

Languishing is not merely in our heads — it’s in our circumstances. You can’t heal a sick culture with personal bandages. We still live in a world that normalizes physical health challenges but stigmatizes mental health challenges. As we head into a new post-pandemic reality, it’s time to rethink our understanding of mental health and well-being. “Not depressed” doesn’t mean you’re not struggling. “Not burned out” doesn’t mean you’re fired up. By acknowledging that so many of us are languishing, we can start giving voice to quiet despair and lighting a path out of the void.

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton, the author of “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know” and the host of the TED podcast WorkLife

A big thanks to “Wealthy Gorilla” for collecting these 29 quotes that inspired us from his writing.

It was nice to be reminded of some of the things you’ve written over the years. So I’m sharing them below.

1.) “Always say to yourself, I’d rather be healthy than right. Because the infection of someone so wounded will spread to you if you engage.”

2.) “Being grateful is the bridge between the world of nightmares and the world where we are free to say no. It’s the bridge between the world of delusions and the world of creativity.”

3.) “But business is just a vehicle for transforming the ideas in your head into something real, something tangible, that actually improves the lives of others.”

4.) “Excuses are easy lies we tell ourselves to cover up our failures.”

5.) “Excuses are leaks in a boat. When you cover one, another pops up, and it’s even bigger. It’s hard to keep the boat repaired and get safely to shore if you have an excuse mind-set.”

6.) “Forget purpose. It’s okay to be happy without one. The quest for a single purpose has ruined many lives.”

7.) “He took a survey of personal finance authors who recommend that people keep budgets, and he found that none of them actually kept budgets themselves.”

8.) “I have lots of ideas. How do I pick the right one? Execute on as many as possible. The right idea will pick you.”

9.) “If coming up with ten ideas sounds too hard, then come up with twenty.”

10.) “If we truly want to learn, we never learn when we are talking. We only learn when we are listening.”

11.) “Luck is created by the prepared.”

12.) “No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter who your audience is: 30 percent will love it, 30 percent will hate it, and 30 percent won’t care.”

13.) “Nobody wakes up in the morning and says, ‘I can’t wait to clean out some shit today.”

14.) “Only free time, imagination, creativity, and an ability to disappear will help you deliver value that nobody ever delivered before in the history of humankind.”

15.) “Only think about the people you enjoy, and only read the books you enjoy, that make you happy to be human. Only go to the events that actually make you laugh or fall in love.”

16.) “Only worry about your own happiness, which doesn’t have to be limited by anyone else’s stupidity unless you allow it to be.”

17.) “Perfectionism is the enemy of the idea muscle. Perfectionism is your brain trying to protect you from harm—from coming up with an idea that is embarrassing and stupid and could cause you to suffer pain.”

18.) “Someone who is reinventing always has spare time. Part of reinvention is collecting little bits and pieces of time and carving them the way you want them to be.”

19.) “Stick with the people who love you and don’t spend a single second on the rest. Life will be better that way.”

20.) “The best way I have ever found to fill that hole is not to seek external motivations to fill the emptiness, but to ignite the internal fire that will never go out. To light up my own inner sky.”

21.) “The only things that really matter in this world are the relationships you have with the people you love, and the meaningful things that you do.”

22.) “The only truly safe thing you can do is to try over and over again. To go for it, to get rejected, to repeat, to strive, to wish. Without rejection there is no frontier, there is no passion, and there is no magic.”

23.) “There is nobody you need to impress. There is nobody who is judging you. And there will be nobody who can stop you.”

24.) “This is about a new phase in history where art, science, business, and spirit will join together, both externally and internally, in the pursuit of true wealth. It’s a phase where ideas are more important than people.”

25.) “We all want to de-clutter. To throw things out. But a minimalist lifestyle is bullshit unless you can do it across every sheath in the daily practice: not just physical, but also emotional, mental, and spiritual.”

26.) “What you need to do is build the house you will live in. You build that house by laying a solid foundation: by building physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.”

27.) “When you get in the mud with a pig, you get dirty and the pig gets happy.”

28.) “When you give up searching for frontiers, inevitably you end up stuck in a swamp, sinking deeper into the mud the more you struggle to get out.”

29.) “When you rush to get to a mythical there, one day you will arrive and realize you missed all of the pleasures and mysteries along the way.”

~ James Altucher

I Don’t Want to Talk About it…Period!

This is a tough one…the pandemic has left many of us with a questionable mindset or mental fatigue. Sure, many have become creative, increased their resilience, and feel much stronger because of the pandemic. To you I applaud and say KUDOS! You are an overcomer for sure!

This is for the rest of us whose mental muscles have been stretched beyond their elasticity and has affected our mental fitness far past our comfort zone. You think… “Am I losing it?” “Why is my fuse so short, and what about these anxiety surges? That’s not me! What’s up with that?” “Am I depressed? Is this what depression feels like?”

Hang on my friend, you are not alone – “Depression Has Skyrocketed During the COVID-19 Pandemic, Study Says” Three times as many Americans met criteria for a depression diagnosis during the pandemic than before it, according to The Journal of the American Medical Association.

This appears to be quite a dilemma for those souls that are experiencing some degree of depression, whether it be a loss of self-worth or confidence, feelings of despair with truly little hope, or just an energy drain due to job loss or insecurity. This is very real to these folks! This is serious and no laughing matter. They need HELP! And herein lies the problem…they are told by the “experts” to “ask” for help; We are ALL in this together…yeah right! Good luck with that lie!

You see, “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! It’s too embarrassing and shameful! It’s a private matter; you think I’m going to show you my weakness? I’ll work it out myself. I don’t need anybody ‘meddling’ in my head or my business. It’s different with me. I’ve never really fit in anyway and have always been pushed by ‘them’ to be ‘like them’…it’s Bullsh..!” LEAVE ME ALONE, THANK YOU!

You see…we are a proud species and even though “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” ~  Proverbs 16:18, we ignore the warning signs and unwittingly hide them in the cellar of our minds.

Negativity has taken over the psyche. The thoughts are no longer pure. The self-talk is poison to the spirit and a downward spiral is in play. Everything looks different. The old healthy perspective is warped and has morphed into a disrupted being that has entered the realm of cognitive distortions.  Normal, pre-pandemic behavior and emotional reason has very quickly led us away from the path of reality. What good can come of it?

The short answer is – a lot! Thomas Paine said it best: “These are the times that try men’s souls.” It’s when one’s soul is tried that the most is learned. Inner growth comes from hard times. Help arrives whether we ask from “within” or from “without”. If you are too proud to ask “without”, humble yourself to go “within”, search your heart and your soul; trust that a promised answer will come and you will be rewarded…in full!

The long answer is – it depends! Things could go either way. They can be built up or they can be torn down and disintegrate. “Ugh!” you say. “How do I do this? How will I get through this? I lost my job, I’m too old… It’s too late…I can’t…” You see where this is headed? Yes, toward disintegration. It is “Decision” time! And that’s the best news yet because it is YOUR decision! Still scared? No problem, it happens to ALL of us. Yup, we have all been in the same dark place just at different times; it’s a universal human experience.

Maybe this will help. Depression is not a malfunction or a wiring problem. It is a signal. A message that is telling us something. The first step is to stop insulting these signals, by saying they’re a sign of weakness, or madness, or purely biological. We need to start listening to these signals. They are telling us that something is missing in our lives. They’re telling us something that we really need to hear. We need to honor these signals, respect them, and sincerely listen to what they are trying to tell us.

Something considerably basic in nature is now missing and we have to identify, recognize and reconnect to it. It is only when we truly listen that we begin to see liberating, nurturing, deeper solutions that are awaiting and available within us and all around us. More to come…